A lamp unto my feet
Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path
Psalm 119:105
When we first told our friends, James and Penny about moving to London, we prayed together about it. We all had a feeling that the journey we were embarking on was going to be a bit like the words of the Psalm here. Imagine what holding one of those little lamps is like - how far in front of you can you see? Not very far. We would need to trust God for each part of the adventure, as He revealed it to us. This is both unsettling and scary at times (a lot of the time, actually!) but I have learned something through this process that I haven't quite experienced before.
I have been a Christian for 29 years now and over that time have read my Bible in lots of different ways; using Bible notes to help me focus on reading particular parts of the Bible, studying a theme or subject, reading little bits, reading bigger chunks and at different times; in bed before I go to sleep or early in the morning - though admittedly this one has never been that successful!
What I have found is that I have felt guilty. I am not a morning person and this has bugged me for some time now. I have listened to countless sermons where I am told that I am supposed to start my day praying and reading the Bible but I just can't. Now don't get me wrong here, I actually agree with the principle of starting my day like this and my reason for feeling guilty is that no matter how I have tried this, I just can't do it.
What does that look like? Well, I have three children and they are all up from 7am (well, with the slight exception of my pre-teen daughter who tends to be a 'little' later). They are aged 6, 10 and 12 so we are now through those very early years of sleep deprivation when if you remember to dress yourself correctly in the morning it's a bonus, let alone finding time to read your Bible!! But still there are a fair amount of family duties that take place between 7am and 8:30am when we leave the house for school. It is currently not possible to use that time to read my Bible.
So, the answer is obvious, right? Simply get up EARLIER than the kids. Of course! So, I imagine that it might go something like this;
6am: Alarm goes off and I joyfully arise out of bed in glorious anticipation of time spent with my Father.
6:05am: Make a cup of coffee and settle down to study my Bible for a good 25 minutes, possibly even reading the same chapter in a few different versions so that I have a good understanding of what the author is trying to say, both within the context it was written and to me today.
6:30am: Use what I have just studied as a launchpad into praise and thanksgiving, followed by committing all of the people and situations I have promised to pray for to prayer.
6:45am: Finish by asking God how He would like to use me that day, so that I may be a shining light to all that may come across my path.
6:55am: Prepare the table for breakfast as I eagerly await my darling children and husband who will soon be joining me.
Here's what actually happens;
6am: Alarm goes off. I fumble for my phone and press 'snooze'
6:05am: Alarm goes off again. Repeat as above.
6:15am: Husband jabs me in the ribs and says that he thought I was getting up to pray today. Grudgingly get out of bed, eyes not fully opened. Husband attempts conversation, thinks better of it and puts a cup of coffee in my hand.
6:20am: Stare blankly at Bible. All of the words merge into each other as eyes are still not fully opened.
6:25am: Still staring.
6:30am: Decide that God would prefer me to pray than read my Bible as eyes still unable to focus.
6:35am: Try to string a sentence together. 'Lord....ummm...thank you for....ermmmm....just thank you.....Lord.....
6:40am: Still unable to articulate any words in any kind of sensible order.
7am: Woken up again by my husband...
Seriously, even my earthly father wouldn't choose to spend time with me at that hour of the day!! But that leaves me feeling like I should be like someone else. I should be praying in the morning and I should be doing this every day. Where's the grace in that? And then I had a little revelation. Rather than focusing on what I can't do, maybe I should focus on what I can and what does fit....I know how simple this sounds and I'm not entirely sure why it took me so long to figure that out?!
So I looked at my weekly routines and decided that I would devote an hour every Tuesday morning AFTER the kids had gone to school to reading my Bible and praying. I decided to read through the book of Isaiah and particularly focus on praying for our move to London. I don't usually work on a Tuesday so this works well. I get home from the school run, make myself a cafetiere of coffee, get my favourite mug (because coffee tastes better in your favourite mug), sit on our swivel chair in the bay window of our lounge with my Bible, new notebook and coloured pens. This is my ideal time of day. It is around 9:30 so definitely still counts as morning! But I am fully awake, focused and able to both articulate what I want to say to God and stay awake to listen to what He wants to say to me...win, win!
I do pray and read my Bible at other times too, but I know that this is my focused, uninterrupted time with my Father that I look forward to every week.
So why am I telling you all this? Well I have to say that since deciding to do this in November 2016, God has used the Bible to speak to me so directly and personally at every stage of our journey to London so far, in a way that I haven't noticed before. I'll share an example in my next post!
Next blog post: An Isaiah 35 house